9-11 and the other was the DC snipers. I can not really say which was more frightening. Both had effects in different ways. The first was for me , ANGER! Then SORROW! Then just total disbelief!
How could anyone do that to innocent people? I did not understand. WHAT COULD I DO?
EMOTIONS! ANGER-SORROW-FRUSTRATION-HELPLESS! THEN, AT LEAST IN MY CASE- YOU LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO EASE THE PAIN. SOMETHING TO BRING FORTH THAT OTHER EMOTION- FEELING GOOD!
I THINK IT MAY BE A KIND OF INNER RELEASE THERAPY! THERE ARE GOOD FEELINGS OUT THERE. WE JUST HAVE TO FIND THEM!
I know that after IT HAPPENED- I felt loss. We all left early that day. It was sort of a blur for the drive home to Fairfax. I was only six miles away from the Pentagon, and even though I did not see the plane, I heard it as it flew directly over our store. There were fellow employees in the parking lot that saw it. I had just been watching the news on TV in the contractor's desk area. The Twin Towers were on fire and smoke was pouring out. I had just walked out to the warehouse and heard the plane.
Then , in a short time, it hit! Everyone started yelling. "THEY JUST TOOK OUT THE PENTAGON!" I rushed outside, I could not see anything. Then back into where the TV was.
We waited, and slowly the pictures came on. I will never forget that day.
YOU LOOK OUT-YOU SEARCH-THE EMOTIONS- I THINK WE HAVE AN INNER SELF PRESERVATION-SORT OF A WAY TO RELEASE THOSE EMOTIONS SO WE DON'T DO SOMETHING FOOLISH. WE HAVE TO FEEL GOOD-WE HAVE TO SMILE- AT LEAST I DO!
It was quiet-no planes-I remember seeing a jet way high in the air- 35 or 40 thousand feet I would guess- and my thoughts were that was one of ours. They were flying patrols around the Capital. they were the only ones in the air. I could barely hear it. the rest of that day is a blur. I got home and waited for Sherry. We talked-we watched-it was awful-what would happen next. Four plane's now by that time. Was this the end as we knew it? EMOTIONS!
THE INNER STRENGTH COMES AT LEAST FROM ME- THE HUMOR THAT IS ALL AROUND US. WE SMILE, WE LAUGH AND WE FEEL GOOD. I BELIEVE IT TO BE PART OF THE HEALING PROCESS.
The second event as I like to call them, was the DC snipers. We were right smack in the middle!
It was happening to the North-South-East and West of us. Close as 3 to 5 miles. It was scary. I do not believe I have ever been afraid as I was during that time. We use to walk to the Plaza that we lived by. NOT THEN! If we went , we drove. Getting out of the car. Looking around. DID YOU SEE THAT WHITE VAN!!!! That was what we were told at first, A WHITE VAN! Down here, there are 10's of thousands white vans. Every construction worker or contractor has a white van. being in the tile business- at any point in time, there are 3 to 5 White vans in our parking lot. Customers coming in to pick up their order or to place one. THIS WAS CRAZY! EMOTIONS: FEAR-NOT KNOWING-CROUCHING DOWN WHEN YOU GOT GAS- RUNNING FROM AND TO YOUR CAR-it all happens so fast- and you do not know from what direction.
AGAIN, YOU SMILE- YOU THINK AND YOU LAUGH- IT BREAKS THE ICE- AT LEAST FOR A BRIEF MOMENT-YOU CAN RELAX- YOU CAN FEEL GOOD!
This went on for a long time-I remember the drive home-they came and told us to leave work and go home. The shootings were close to where i worked. I passed hundreds of white vans that day going home. Both going in the same direction or coming toward me as I drove that day. I would look at each one and wonder if that were the one. IT WAS A TERRIBLE FEELING! POWERLESS-NOT KNOWING-FEAR-NOT ANGER AS IN 9-11, BUT FEAR!
The emotions were powerful that day. I just wanted to get home and get inside.
AND THEN AFTER I GOT HOME, I REALIZED I HAD TO GET GAS THE NEXT DAY! WHAT TO DO? YOU SEE, I WAS THE FIRST ONE IN TO OPEN THE STORE. MY STARTING TIME WAS 5 AM. I HAD TO GET EVERYTHING UP AND RUNNING AND TAKE CARE OF THE OVERNIGHT TRUCKLOAD FROM OUR RDC IN ELDERSBURG. CUSTOMERS WERE GOING TO BE HERE AT 7:30 AM TO PICK UP THEIR ORDERS IN THEIR WHITE VANS!
HOW IRONIC IS THAT! THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO. I HAD TO STOP ON THE WAY TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING-4:30 AM-AND FILL MY TANK UP! FEAR-FEAR AND MORE FEAR!
I PULLED INTO THE GAS STATION-IT WAS BRIGHTLY LIT-A CUSTOMER IN MANASSAS HAD DONE THE SAME THING IN THE DAY LIGHT AND NOW WAS DEAD! FEAR- MY THOUGHTS- THIS IS HAPPENING IN THE DAYLIGHT- MAYBE I AM SAFE. NO WAY- GET OUT, CROUCH OVER, MOVE FAST- GET THE CREDIT CARD IN AND OUT-PUT THE PUMP IN-SQUAT DOWN BEHIND THE DOOR- THIS IS CRAZY! FEAR FOR MY LIFE!
EMOTIONS- AGAIN- WHAT WAS I DOING- THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN BACK HOME-WAS IT FATE-WHO IS IN THAT VAN OR CAR-ANOTHER PERSON PULLS IN- THEY ARE DOING THE SAME-I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE. WE LOOK AND MAKE EYE CONTACT- WE SMILE AND SHAKE OUR HEADS- EMOTION!
YES-EMOTIONS PLAY A BIG PART OF OUR LIVES- TRAGEDY AND HUMOR GO SIDE BY SIDE-SORT OF THE FACES YOU SEE IN PLAY PRODUCTIONS. SIDE BY SIDE-COMEDY AND TRAGEDY- EMOTIONS THAT GO HAND IN HAND-FEELINGS- THAT IS WHAT WE ARE MADE UP OF. SO TODAY- I WANT TO FEEL GOOD-START MY DAY ON A GOOD NOTE, JUST LIKE I DO EVERY DAY, FOR YOU SEE I ALWAYS LOOK AT MY GLASS BEING HALF FULL, WAITING FOR THAT EXTRA SOMETHING TO TOP IT OFF WITH!
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE-ALONG WITH EATING HEALTHY! I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE TO YOU- I HOPE IT BRINGS FORTH THAT LIFE IS TO BE ENJOYED-NOT TO DWELL IN THE PAST- BUT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THE SUN RISING EACH DAY.
OLIVIA-TAYLOR AND CASSIDY PLAYING BY THE FOUNTAIN IN BRAMBLETON TOWN CENTER YESTERDAY-COUSINS! THIS BRINGS A SMILE TO MY FACE.
AND THEN THE WALK HOME WITH TAYLOR WALKING OLIVIA& CASSIDY RIDING. TAMMY PUSHING AND GG(GREAT GRANDMA) HOLDING ON. YES, IT IS GONNA BE A GOOD DAY!
HGD-PEACE BE WITH YOU!
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